Dateline: July 20, 2000 - Up to and Including Finland

Up at ow-o'clock to begin a VERY long day that will kind of never end! We pass posters for circuses again (it's a Europe thang) - these have evil red goats. Now, why would someone go to see evil goats perform hoop tricks? Joe insists on calling the flughafen (airport) the "flugie," and itís a mess - "holiday" season in Europe. We finally get to Finland after a brief stopover in Stockholm, where the language barrier (and the currency conversion) becomes officially hopeless despite my Internet printout of common phrases.

After I sing several choruses of Billy Joel's Scandinavian Skies, much to the annoyance of fellow passengers (apparently being annoying transcends language barriers), we land in Tampere (at Tampax? It's LAX in Los Angeles!) where our babysitter for the festival, Paivi, is waiting for us at the baggage claim. Our driver Jussi's cellphone rings - to the opening riff of "Sunshine of Your Love" and we crack up. As we pass the town of Nokia, it dawns on me that everyone here has a cellphone and they DO grow on trees. After a 90-minute ride through what looks like rural Oregon we arrive at the credentials office for the Pori Jazz Festival, where we'll be for 3 days. We (unsuccessfully)try to look awake for the mugshots they take for the laminates and are whisked off to our first show in Finland.

We are performing between Jeff Healey Band and Kool and the Gang at Kirinjuoloto, a huge open-air venue on the leafy island in the middle of the river that runs through Pori. Rain threatens the day, but stays clear of our 30-minute set for 20,000 Finns, who apparently understand enough English to find us amusing! The soundguys go nuts over "Purple Haze" and I get to shake my butt on a JumboTron during "Vapor Carioca" (wouldn't Mom be proud!). Our set is also broadcast on Finnish and Hungarian television (the government actually supports the arts in these countries.... imagine!!!).

Backstage it's a different kind of fun as Edgar Winter and various musicians from the Afro-Cuban All-Star Ensemble line up with us for foodstuffs. We meet LA-based musicians (and fans) David Arnay (a jazz pianist), Ritt Henn (bass player), and Lisa Haley and the Zydecats (an amazing L.A. based Cajun band). Ritt and I bond over Jersey shore anecdotes and we learn that Lisa's drummer, MB, lives around the corner from Joe Bob!

A quick stop at the Scandic Hotel to check in, then off to our second show already (yes, this is the same day that started with evil goat posters at 7 a.m. in Hamburg) - at the beautiful Pori Central Church. Now, one might think a church is a great venue for singing, especially since a cappella literally means "in the chapel." Not if you have a sound system. The show, however, is completely packed, which doesn't make a dent in the echo-chamber acoustics (a challenge, to say the least!) but results in a rocking good time for 800 people!

By the time we get back to the hotel it's after midnight, but the sun's still up - it looks like almost dusk - so we head for Jazz Street, a cordoned-off Harbor promenade packed with vendors, food and several portable stages. The pink sun freckles in the sky over the river as we take in "The New Delhi Prophets" - seriously white boys in turbans and tye-dye playing funk all night - and a Dixieland Jazz band a few blocks down. All the food is in huge woks - paellas and kebabs - whatís that about? It's Finland? Where's the seafood? Well, at least the reindeer meat is local! Around 2 a.m. we head back to the hotel - it's finally getting dark out! - to hear Ritt, David and their drummer Ralph do a fabu set in the club there. We eat DINNER (hey, we were hungry!) around 2:30 a.m. and I turn in at 3, finally tired... as the sun begins to come up again.

Dateline: July 21-23, 2000 - Pori is Finnish for "Jazz"

All I can tell you is the sunrise at 3:30 a.m. was completely gorgeous. And that I bolted awake at 8:00 for no apparent reason, rapidly discovering that the Midnight Sun makes it very easy to stay up all night but hard to nap during the day. Alex asks me on the phone if I have had lutefisk yet, a question he will repeat each day with the same response ("NO!"). A grand breakfast spread lures our new pals Ritt and David to the hotel (they're not staying there... what an incredibly Bobs move that is!) and we all spend the next two days exploring the town, hearing great music and eating too much. Highlights:

• The review of our show at the Kirinjuoloto: "The Bobs were a nice snack in between the heavy music..."
• Huge downpours alternating with blazingly sunny skies
• Amazing music - Havana Voices, an a cappella group from Cuba made up of former members of Vocal Sampling - they do amazing percussion and mariachi horns with choreography. Dr. John - Matthew withstood a complete soaking to hear this set! Suzanne Vega - just her and a bass player in the acoustically perfect Promenadesali, I was in heaven - she opened with Marlene on the Wall and closed with The Queen and the Soldier. Trumpet god Steve Turre (Joe Bob was a-groovin). Freddie Hubbard. And of course our new pals, Lisa Haley ("Don't Mess With My Gumbo or You're Goin' Home a Stump") and the Zydecats, with whom we jammed right before Matthew left (at 2am) to go back to his family in Switzerland!
• Licorice. Licorice. Licorice.
• Poriburgers - onion-filled concoctions that Matthew cannot resist!
• Packs of young Finnish men traveling in groups, spitting. Don't ask.
• Our show for strangely sedate Jazz Festival sponsors at the oldest theatre in Finland. Maybe it was because we brought a cow on wheels onstage. (It was just sitting there. What were we supposed to do?!) They are effusive afterwards, however, reinforcing the well-known (but hard to deal with onstage) truth that just because an audience is quiet, it doesnít mean they aren't having a good time!
• Taking saunas at the hotel. Mmmmmmmmm....
• Snagging a cool poster from the Festival Office