Thursday 2/16/06 - - - - - - - Blinded By the White

It's a Winter Wonderland. I have to laugh - Blinded By the White when I pull back the curtains! My funky feeling that our 10am meeting is cancelled is indeed correct. We were supposed to have breakfast with two folks from the two-week residency we're doing in Central Iowa communities in June 2007. I don't know where they were coming in from, but they're not! As we're all up anyway, we head into town in near whiteout conditions. The Daily Grind is empty but open, so after Richard and I start our laundry at Laundry Depot (like Home Depot only... cleaner) we caffeinate inside the snow globe that is Waverly today. Breakfast is at Dell's Diner. Dan keeps singing Cheney's Got A Gun and it's still funny...

Back at the Red Fox Inn (cue Sanford & Son theme) the internet in my room still isn't working so I camp out in front of the computer they let me use in the Sales office. Needless to say, this place is deserted today. Later I settle in with the Olympics and James Bond movies on AMC. I call Bob Malone around 2:30 and am relieved to learn he got here. He drove from Nashville to Cedar Rapids last night in black ice conditions, arriving at 1:00 am, then did the 90 minute blast here today. He's heading to the venue to shed a bit before the show. I run into Myrna in the hotel lobby. She says to expect several hundred people despite the mess outside. Welp, this is Iowa! I remember dealing with this all the time in Syracuse, so it wouldn't surprise me to see a fairly full house.

The house is indeed fairly full, and the show is grand. As I've said before, I never get tired of hearing (or singing) Rhapsody in Blue. Later, in the lobby, fans tell us they drove here from St. Paul - that is amazing since we're playing in Minneapolis on Sunday! They must have braved the snow just to see RHAPSODY IN BOB. Now that is really cool. Such devotion! The snow has stopped now, but it's below zero outside. Woo Hoo! Tomorrow's drive should be about 5 hours, so we decide to leave at 9 in case there are any road condition issues.

Friday 2/17/06 - - - - - - - DuShow at DuPage

Sweet zombie Jesus! It is freaking cold!!! About minus six, Alex said last night. Myrna and her husband are in the lobby and way more awake than us when we check out at 9am... I am mesmerized by the wind whipping the van... We buzz The Daily Grind before heading out on Route 20. The drive back to Illinois is marginally more interesting on this back road than the interstates. My phone keeps going in and out of digital roam... Richard reads a book Bob Malone gave me called Mozart in the Jungle, a classical musician's tale of sex, drugs and music. Every once and a while he chuckles. Not A Thing: Butter Burgers. A Thing: Galena, Illinois, a gem of a little town with quaint architecture and romantic sites nestled in the hills. Eventually we pass Elgin on I-90, where we'll be tomorrow night.

Back at the Hiltone in Lisle, IL. We stayed here when we played Schaumberg's Prairie Center for the Arts a long time ago. It'll be nice to be on a decent bed again, but, true to nickel and dimey form, Hilton has apparently eliminated free wireless in the lobbies (and it's $10 a day in the rooms). I always fill out the comment cards at Hiltons asking why the Super 8 has Free WiFi and they don't. Once, when I asked, they said it was "built into the rate" at those places, so I was "actually paying for it." Yeah, okay. And it's not built into yours, which is four times that rate. I highly suspect these charges really go towards Paris Hilton's syphilis medication!

Don Hood, production manager at the College of DuPage McAnnich Arts Center, is one of those guys who really takes care of guest artists. He and his highly capable staff are wonderful - funny, helpful and super cool. Although we sound fine, we're all having vocal issues during the show as the dry cold takes its toll. Scratchiness, itching and dry throats. Sometimes during Rhapsody, I wonder how disruptive our hacking in between vocal sections sounds...Ah well. Nothing can be done about it. Some hotels have humidifiers, but usually they haven't been cleaned since the Eisenhower administration. I used to bring one along, but now, with my back pillow and assorted sick remedies, I feel too much like my own Medivac cart to do that! In the dressing room, we are driven insane playing a "20 questions" computer game Matthew brought along that will be a good distraction during Monday's drive.

In the lobby after the show, superFOB Jeff Brower approaches us at the merch table and tells us he and his wife drove from Ohio to see us tonight - as an Anniversary gift to themselves. Jeff asks if there's any chance we could sing a tune with him now - so we back him up on A Cappella Choir in the Sky. He's great! I'd hoped to link to a movie or picture of this but sadly the girl who filmed it flaked.... the note he gave us, however is here...

Back to reality at the Hiltone, where Matthew and Bob are besieged in the early morning by young varmints with inattentive parents playing hockey in the halls. I guess the staff is too busy collecting WiFi fees to tell them to shut the hell up. Again, more glamour.

Saturday 2/18/06 - - - - - - - The Krishna of Elgin

Only 45 minutes' drive today, which in theory balances out the next two days (projected at 6 and 10 hours respectively). We buzz a nearby mallish outcropping for a Borders browse. (I also pet all the animals at PetSmart next door.) Borders is cool as usual (and our 20/20 CD is in the rack), but thanks to the internet I can't bring myself to actually buy anything. I write down things I like and Froogle them later!

AND THEN THERE IS LIGHT. I notice what looks like the Taj Mahal off to the right and we U-turn to investigate. It's the Shri Swaminarayan Mandir. As no Bob can resist the implied promise of enlightenment (not to mention the giant Slow Down, Krishna photo opp), we pull into the parking lot. Once inside, it's a marble wonderland. Unshod. we trek to the temple, where amazing carvings of Hindu deities await. There is a palpable energy in the dome that radiates outward. It's truly awesome. Then we get the photo. : )

Checking in at the Courtyard (my favorite hotel chain, although this one has bangy construction today), Dan gives his credit card to the desk clerk for incidentals. He turns to me, quizzically, to ask, "What about my co-incidentals?" I deadpan, "You're responsible for those, too." After a beat, he points to me in mock surprise. "Hey, so are YOU!"

The Bobs played the Hemmens sometime in the mid-1990's; all of the tech staff are fans. How cool is that? And all of their requests turn out to be in the set anyway. That's pretty good, considering we only have room for 12 Bobs-only tunes in a RHAPSODY show. We sign a stack of CDs for them before getting mesmerized by the Olympics yet again downstairs in the green room. During Fluffy I have a "wardrobe malfunction" ... my mike gets caught in the first layer of my dress somehow during the second verse - lost in the black mesh... so I sing into my skirt, trying to locate it, as Dan completely derails and I can't decide whether to continue singing. Matthew and Richard power through the bridge, supplying me with the will to keep it together. Afterwards it's open season, obviously! Richard announces that his solo album is done and available in the lobby. Matthew says his is due next year. I announce that mine is being recorded entirely underneath my clothes. Later, a friend congratulates me on a "fabulous dress solo."

My cousin Julie is here, as is Mark, Whit's boss from Chicago. We take a bunch of photos with fans and sign a lot of CDs people brought from home. Julie says it's neat to see her cuz signing autographs and being semi-mobbed by rabid fans. It is kinda cool... then I get to go back to LA and be a normal person. Well... as normal as I get!

Back at the comfy Courtyard, Alex and I discuss how nice it will be when I'm home. And it slowly dawns on me why I have felt so dissatisfied in general this tour. I've been on Flonase. And while it has seriously helped preserve my voice and nudge me from the bad cold, it's a corticosteriod, not without side effects. Like IRRITABLILITY. I think that's been the case. I'll apologize to the guys in the morning. BLEAH!

Sunday 2/19/06 - - - - - - - I Gotcher Wind Chill Right Here

Giant signs for CHEESE torment me as we barrel up I's-90 and 94 through Wisconsin. At one point there's even a giant mouse holding the cheese. It's OK, really, I'll be fine... I don't need any... pull this toboggan over before I lose it!!! We pass the Baraboo exit - no time for clown college this trip. We pass the Ho-Chunk Casino but feel more like Blowing Chunks. Eventually we're in familiar territory again @ the Holiday Inn Metrodome, although it's been several years since we played the Cedar Cultural Center.

Chicken coconut soup from Chai Thai next door to the Cedar ignites my entire upper digestive tract but I can't stop eating it... about half of this neighborhood's restaurants have turned since we were last here, and that's a good thing. I think the last time was the Cedar's extremely cool Anniversary show in something like 2000, alongside folks like the late Dave Van Ronk, Geoff Muldaur and Gillian Welch and David Rawlings.

Eric, the new soundman, is primo magnifico - ready for us when we get there and totally awesome and creative in a GOOD way during the show. It's good to see the Artistic Director, Bill, again - and after a fun, fun show we muse about autumn double bills with the Austin Lounge Lizards or Bill Frisell. Bob Malone opens and kicks butt as always. It's great to be doing at least one full length, regular Bobs show this tour. I love doing the RHAPSODY show which is very structured (although we switch songs in and out) but it's nice to return to our usual two 45 minute sets of Bobs insanity. We happily break out Disco Inferno (mit Wayne Newton band playoff), Alabama Song and others. Then we head back in the now 5 below chill.

Alex keeps sending me links to his rough cuts of video from the Reunion shows, so when I have broadband I look 'em over. He's already done 10 and they look great. But I'm kind of tired now and can't watch any more Bobs tonight!

Monday 2/20/06 - - - - - - - National Butts of Pain Day

Forget President's Day, people!! 10 solid hours of driving to Hays, Kansas, interrupted only by a great coffeehouse in Ames, Iowa, Caffe Diem. These RHAPSODY tours are nice on the bank account but hard on the butt. Or, as Richard says, paraphrasing Top Gun, "Don't let your mouth write any checks that your ass can't cash!" I drive the Ames, IA to Topeka, KS shift, and I find I dig it. We're treated to a gorgeous, cold sunset over I-70 that reminds me of the breathtaking one we saw in November, on yet another National Butts of Pain Day driving from Hampton, VA to Asheville, NC. Things like an incredible sunset over the plains or the Great Smoky Mountains certainly ease the pain.

I'm typing this in the back of the minivan as Dan leadfoots us westward at hyperspeed. Manhattan, KS... less than 200 miles... Malone is stuck without cruise control, about 90 minutes behind us. I feel for the guy! Around 8:30pm, we rest stop with 30 miles to go. It's completely surreal, out in the way wide open, with the lights of Hays in the distance, the stars blazing around us and no one else here. Moments like this are very confusing - you wonder how your road led to this spot, look around and robotically reach for your cellphone (digital roam again, baybee). It's warmer here than it was in Minnesota.

Tuesday 2/21/06 - - - - - - - In Toto, We ARE in Kansas

Hard to fall asleep last night, owing to the feeling I was still moving and the not-so-super bed. I am up at 6:00am watching Buffy reruns on FX. Matthew calls at 9. We coffee at a nearby hut I found on the net. Our call with our agent doesn't happen at 10am... Richard and I drive into the Fort Hays State University area (that's where we're playing - we're the February pinup on the calendar they distribute) and I buy a TIGERS shirt.

I spend the day coding this Bobtale and doing other business, eventually changing rooms. Apparently the previous guest thought it appropriate to flush a roll-on deodorant down the toilet. (Dan offered, "Maybe to prevent their poop from smelling?")

The show is extremely well-attended - especially for a Tuesday night - at the ironically named Encore! Series. When we ask if anyone there has seen The Bobs before, a tumbleweed blows across the stage. That's OK... but these 1,000-ish folks never really warm to us, even to Rhapsody. That's actually also OK. Every once in a while we have this kind of experience. It just makes the intimate, Minneapolis show seem that much more warm and fuzzy! Afterwards we attend a reception at the home of one of the series sponsors, where Richard makes fast friends with their Bassett Hound (boy do I wish that was on tape!) and I notice a poster from a tour that played in Hays whose cast had someone I went to Syracuse with. How weird is that?

Wednesday 2/22/06 - - - - - - Bye-yee, Potential Corn

Richard pulls the van over for gas somewhere near Salina, Kansas. He asks Dan to drive so he can make a few phone calls. I ponder Bobs photo opps, only we'd be in full stage dress in a cornfield, with mikes, facing the fields with our backs to the camera. Ten minutes into Dan's leadfooting we get pulled over by the Kansas K-9 Troopers, who give Dan a $115 bone. Welp, kids, after all the speeding we do (and will do), it evens out. I talk to Paul Sabourin (of Paul and Storm) about them opening for us at Wolf Trap. I tell him I'm looking outside at fields and fields of what isn't even corn yet - he calls it fields of potential corn. Yup. Matthew snores in the backseat.

How different this starkness is from what Alex and I love about places like Iceland. We don't feel isolated or cut off in an otherworldly landscape of lava fields and glaciers, we feel connected. Something about the eerie starkness inspires, moves, and mesmerizes us. This doesn't. To quote a tune called XFire by The Bens (Ben Folds/Ben Lee/Ben Harper), "The possibilities are endless... and the impossibilities are beginningless and meaningless..." (OK, that line reeks of "Boy are we stoned"...) A Bobs fan I met on Lopez Island recently e-mailed me. He was going to Iceland for two weeks and wanted tips on traveling there. We'd spoken about it - he and his wife of many years had dreamed of going but she passed away recently. I told him he would probably find some kind of solace there - that these seemingly empty vistas are actually very spiritually full, and that he would not feel alone. And I wonder if other people get that kind of feeling from the Great Plains. I so don't.

I drop the guys at the Kansas City Airport and return the van... nab a Starbucks salad... try to WiFi but it's not free... (I hate that!)...I have 2 hours to go before the flight and there's a Bagel Bakery outside the gate area, which is walled in with glass - I'd have to go back through security... guess I could leave all my crap with the equally wired folks sitting around me... when my computer boots up, the picture associated with my user name is of Sitka P. Coldfoot. Holy cow, will he be SO SQUOZE this evening!

(c) 2006 Amy Bob Engelhardt

Performance photos by Bryan Aaker @ the Cedar Cultural Center